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WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH KIDS?

The answer is they’re expensive.

That’s particularly true this time of year, when you’re fighting crowds or scouring online sites for whatever it is the child in your life really, really, really wants. 

But everything about children costs big bucks. Healthcare. Diapers. Clothes. Toys. Sporting stuff. Music lessons. School supplies. Trips to the theme park. 

And that might be why people are procreating less. Which has many people, not just white conservatives, very nervous. Because as the population gets older, it needs more on that end as well – and, like kids, being old is also expensive.

One of the reasons Zohran Mamdani manged to get elected mayor of New York is his proposal for universal child care. The idea comes from talking to people about what would make their lives more affordable, and this is a big idea.

Parents spend $10,000 or more a year paying someone to watch their kids while they work. They wrestle with the idea of one parent – it’s usually, but not always, the mom – staying home because of the cost. 

Which ultimately results in other problems: a lower standard of living because of diminished income, and frustrated and unfulfilled people not able to use their talents to the extent they’d like.

So the idea of universal child care seems like a political winner. At least that’s what New York Gov. Kathy Hochul thinks.

Hochul seems to be clearing a path for Mamdani to fullill his campaign promise. In fact, she’s looking to make it moot – not only would there be universal health care in the city, but in the whole state of New York – from Niagara Falls to Montauk Point.

It would cost a fortune. 

New Mexico recently enacted universal child care. According to the Fiscal Policy Institute, it’ll cost the Land of Enchantment $1 billion this fiscal year.

But the state has the money. It gets paid royalties for fossil fuels extracted from its land. This, despite the fact that New Mexico is one of the poorest states in the union. But it’s a boon for struggling families – and certainly a reason to keep your home where it is if you aspire to or have kids.

New York has no fossil fuels. What it does have is wealth. So many of the richest people in the nation live in the metropolitan area. Real estate prices are ridiculously high.

So Hochul is looking for a way to tap into that wealth for what would likely be a $7 billion expense to subsidize child care for every family who needs it.

The thing is doing so would partly pay for itself.

New York is one of the states that is losing population to the Sun Belt. It can’t change the weather, particularly in the Adirondacks, but it can make it more financially attractive to live and work here. And while businesses might grumble about additional taxes, they’ll be partly offset by finding it easier to get and keep workers.

We’ll see how Hochul does. She’s running for re-election next year and might have her eyes on a national profile. Universal child care – letting parents keep about $20 grand a year – would be a good way of letting everyone know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with kids today.

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A NOT-SO-SECRET WEAPON

In the middle of a hot New York summer day, a guy from Las Vegas walked into a Park Avenue office building, murdered a security guard, two other people working there and an NYPD officer, and then turned the gun on himself.

The New York Times just reported that the man bought the gun – an assault weapon – from his boss for $1,400. He then drove to New York with the intent of inflicting some sort of pain on executives of the National Football League.

We can wonder about why he did it. We can ask if he was mentally ill. We can dismiss him as a troubled soul.

What we can’t dismiss is the goddamn assault weapon.

For 10 years, from 1995 to 2005, there was a ban in this country on some semi-automatic firearms as well as on large capacity ammunition magazines. President Bill Clinton signed it into law, with the support of former Presidents Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. President George W. Bush let the law expire.

Because the law wasn’t in effect long enough, critics say there’s no statistical proof that it cut down on murders.

But it sure seems as though there would have been anecdotal proof on Monday in New York.

And yet, you know and I know and everybody in Congress and everyone in the gun-fetish lobby that’s the National Rifle Association that the end result of this horrible murder will be the status quo. 

No laws will be passed. No regulations enforced. In fact, the bangbangers will argue that New York’s stricter laws on assault weapons are useless, that the only way to prevent this sort of mayhem is to arm everybody to the teeth.

Here’s the thing:

One of those murdered Monday was Officer Didarul Islam of the New York City Police Department. He was working a second job as a security officer at the office building when the gunman sauntered in with his assault rifle.

Islam got world-class training to shoot the handgun he carried. It was no match when someone carrying a war weapon initiated an attack that no one could have possibly expected.

So why don’t police unions and police organizations organize and march and sell bumper stickers demanding that this country regulate the sale of weapons that overpower the men and women trying to protect us?

It always seems as though the people who fight the hardest for sensible gun control are students and parents. Because the most horrific of mass shootings – and they’re all pretty goddamn awful – are those in which children are massacred in their classrooms. Sandy Hook and Uvalde evoke painful memories and terror.

And yet, politicians bought and paid for by the NRA manage to ignore these protests. 

There’s nothing they can do. It’s the Second Amendment. The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. Thoughts and prayers.

If police advocates went as all out to stop assault weapons as they do to whine about lack of respect, maybe that respect would come more easily.

But I don’t think it’s going to happen. And here’s why:

You get the sense that police officers don’t want bad people to have guns. But they seem to think that everybody they know – kids, parents, siblings, extended family, neighbors – should.

So regulating that would put their faves at odds with the law. And given the choice of possibly getting killed in a shootout with someone having imaginary CTE or arming them and theirs, they’ll take the latter.

Police officers have seen what happens when a gunman takes an AR-15 to elementary school children, And they still can’t manage to stand strong with kids and parents against those weapons.

So forget the BS about how New York is a cesspool of evil, or how it’s our socialist tendencies or lax morals or anything else these yokels from the Republican Party spit out.

Strong gun laws would go a long way toward stopping the madness that took place in New York this week. And police groups can go a long way toward getting those gun laws.

But it ain’t gonna happen.

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