FIVE THINGS I’M THINKING ABOUT TODAY

1. It’s Friday, February 20, 2015. Spring Training is underway for the Mets. It’s the new lunar year. Things have to get better, right?

2. Well, for starters, it’s 10 degrees. At noon. On a sunny day. And we expect more snow tomorrow night. So maybe not.

3. I had written a lengthy screed about Rudolph Giuliani is a miserable cetriolo. But then I thought about it.

In my family, calling someone a cetriolo is as low as it gets. In our minds, asshole and shithead are let-him-off-easy words next to cetriolo.

But here’s the thing: First, it’s hard for a cetriolo to be miserable. It is, literally, a cucumber.

And then there’s this: It’s not nice to pick on the mentally ill.

So I hope Giuliani will take this opportunity to get the help he needs.

He obviously has anger issues.

And, in particular, he seems hung up on President Obama. I think he probably figures (although, being somewhat unbalanced, “figure” might not be the appropriate word) that saying President Obama doesn’t love America is a way to get the love he’s never quite gotten from the Republican Party.

But it’s a little like the kid who drops his drawers or licks a light post on a cold day when dared by the other kids. He thinks that’ll make them like him, but it won’t really, and he just looks like a fool. Or a madman.

Craving that kind of attention — who cared what Giuliani thought about anything three days ago? — is a sign of mental imbalance.

It wasn’t always the case. Giuliani was more than happy to bask in the light when the president came to New York on May 5, 2011 — four days after the raid Obama ordered that led to the demise of Osama bin Laden. He was all over Obama like a frisky puppy that day — a chance to tap the 9/11 kudos he received (and, at the time, deserved).

But now, Obama — who got bin Laden — doesn’t love America, according to Giuliani. (BTW: If Obama doesn’t love America after getting bin Laden, what does that say about his predecessor, who decided not to? Does Giuliani think George W. Bush doesn’t love America — an equally insane notion?)

Giuliani’s friends — if he has any — should point him toward a mental health professional. Because people with his kinds of problems can become dangerous if untreated.

4.   Incidentally, while Giuliani might be mentally unbalanced, Scott Walker — who attended the dinner where the Obama comments were made — is a coward.

The Wisconsin governor refuses to say whether he agrees or disagrees with Giuliani on the question of whether the Commander in Chief of our armed forces actually loves his country.

Walker, of course, does, because that’s an easy thing to say. But to do the right thing and say that while he disagrees with Obama on everything, it’s ridiculous to question his devotion to the nation — that idea makes Walker shiver.

It’s the second time in a week that Walker has taken the chicken-out route. He was asked in London if he believes in evolution — unlike a chunk of the Republican electorate that sees science as anathema. Walker ducked the question, saying he was there to talk about trade, not other things.

This guy wants to be president. He isn’t fit to be within 10 blocks of the White House.

5.  The cold again. The last time it was this cold in February in New York was 36 years ago, according to the National Weather Service. So tonight, we’ll party like it’s 1979.