BARACKIA, OCCUPIED TEXAS

1. It’s Tuesday, July 7, 2015.

2. At about 8:15 p.m., the light in the sky will be fading on another warm day.

Take a mental picture of the moment. Save it. Because in six months, it will be January 7, 2016. It will be dark and most likely cold, and there’s even a chance there’s a pile of snow on the ground. And the moment you’re saving tonight will seem enchanted. (Unless you’re in a place where it’s rainy and raw. In that case, try again tomorrow)

3. You really can’t put anything over some of those people in Texas. They saw right through the Jade Helm military exercise planned for later this month.  

“Training.” Ha! You can fool the people around Bostrop or, for that matter, the governor and a U.S. senator.

As someone supportive of the mission, here’s what is really intended

— Changing the name of several cities in the state. The capital will become Barackia. Houston is Michelleville. Dallas is Ciudad Obama and Spanish will become its official language. Lubbock is Obamacareland. 2

— No, FEMA will not establish concentration camps. But we think everyone will rejoice if there’s someplace in that state to put Donald Trump and 50 miles between him and anything else.

— Football will be played on Wednesday nights, just for spite.

— There will be a border fence around the perimeter. It will run keep Texans out of New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana.

— Except that Willie Nelson can go wherever he wants.

— Instead of martial law, we’ll impose Marshalls Law, which requires that everything be sold at the cheapest price possible.

— If we were going to take away your guns, we would have tried it first in a more receptive state, like Vermont. So that ain’t happening. But if you want to prevent President Sanders from staging another invasion, you might want to give them up voluntarily.

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