— It’s Wednesday, January 19, 2022.

— It’s the 115th anniversary of the birth of Robert E. Lee, the slaveowner and former U.S. Army general who led bands of insurrectionists seeking to dissolve the nation.

In Texas, the traitor’s birthday is celebrated as Confederate Heroes Day. It’s a state holiday. Other states celebrate the day later in the year. Kentucky, for instance, waits for June 3.

In case you were wondering if what you’ve been seeing in recent years is anything new.

— Among those representing Kentucky in Congress is Thomas Massie.

You might remember him from a recent family Christmas picture in which he demonstrated his idea of how to celebrate the birth of “the Prince of Peace” – an event he somehow omitted in his holiday message. His entire family of seven is holding weapons, including one that’s semi-automatic, as he beseeches Santa to bring all of them some ammo. 

Massie is one the harder core insurrectionists in the Republican caucus – a happy warrior against the country from which he draws his paycheck.

Yesterday, in a tweet that keeps with his life’s mission of inducing liberal tears, Massie leaned into the narrative (one I don’t accept, by the way) that his party will gain control of the House this fall. 

He said – and I’m copying here because I’d like to limit this guy’s social media engagement: “What pro Second Amendment legislation do you want the House to pass when Republicans retake the majority?”

— Hey, Tommy Gun Boy, thanks for asking.

I don’t own a weapon, would never own a weapon and don’t understand why anyone else does. I’m embarrassed by the fact that my country has one of the highest rates of firearm-related deaths in the world – a large number of them, by the way, by suicide.

But, Tommy Gun Boy, if you think that means I support repeal of the Second Amendment, you’re wrong.

This is what appears in the Bill of Rights: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

So, taking you at your word that you want to consider legislation that’s pro-Second Amendment – or “pro-#2A,” as you and your bang-bang loving friends like to say – here are some ideas:

— In accordance with the Second Amendment’s proclamation that a well regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free state, require every state to do thorough background checks on anyone seeking the right to bear arms.

— In accordance with the Second Amendment’s proclamation that a well regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free state, require states to mandate that everyone seeking the right to bear arms undergo instruction in firearm safety and consequences – both when they purchase a firearm and then annually thereafter.

— In accordance with the Second Amendment’s proclamation that a well regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free state, make certain the right of anyone to keep and bear arms is not available to anyone convicted of or legitimately accused of domestic violence. 

Yeah, I don’t think anyone who is the subject of a court protection order should have access to something that can end that dispute sadly. 

— In accordance with the Second Amendment’s proclamation that a well regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free state, the right to keep and bear arms requires protection for the firearm in the home – including making it impossible for children under age 16 to get access to firearms on their own.

Gun accidents and suicide produce more death in America than homicide. That’s pathetic. I can’t understand why even the fondest gun advocate finds that acceptable.

— In accordance with the Second Amendment’s proclamation that a well regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free state, states that fail to provide adequate regulation of firearms should be subject to financial penalty, such as reduced federal funding.

States that take in more federal funds than they contribute should have their funding reduced to equal levels.

And there should be legal liability for state officials who fail to fulfill their Constitutional obligation to well regulate the right to keep and bear arms.

For instance: Some idiot in Texas should face consequences for the fact that a nut case from Great Britain could hop on a plane, hang around Dallas for a few days, get hold of a weapon, then go into a synagogue and terrorize a rabbi and his congregants for hours while spewing anti-Semitic bullshit.

— The problem with the Second Amendment isn’t its existence, Tommy Gun Boy.

Sure, it might be better for all of us if Hamilton, Madison and the gang left it out.

But the problem with the Second Amendment is that we’ve allowed gun crazies like you to ignore the first four words. 

Gun control, pal, is inherent in the Second Amendment. That’s why it’s a more logical solution to the gun violence problems afflicting our country than arming everybody to the teeth and watching the carnage that happens.

But, hey, I suspect that’s not what you had in mind, Tommy Gun Boy, when you asked the question.

So I hope Santa got you the ammo you wanted. Because I’m sure as hell he didn’t bring you any decency.