1. It’s Wednesday, September 2, 2015.

2. Long Island is a stupid idea executed badly. It’s hard for me to think of anyplace else in the world where so many people have so few ways out, and all of them are so easily capable of malfunction.

This morning, it’s the Long Island Railroad, the nation’s largest commuter line. Because of an Amtrak power outage, LIRR trains can’t get into Manhattan — which is pretty much the point of the railroad. So commuters are either schlepping to Brooklyn and taking the subway into Manhattan, or driving.

The idea of creating a modern mass transportation system, instead of using one dependent on a lot of 19th century technology, just never occurs to people — except on days like this when you realize how stupid it is that there isn’t something better.

3. Conservative Republicans are determined to stick it to Planned Parenthood. In fact, they’re ready to shut down the government if the budget contains funding for Planned Parenthood’s women’s health initiatives.

The crazies have seen the videos convincing them that Planned Parenthood is using abortion as a profit center by processing fetuses for nefarious purposes. It’s not quite that way, but it doesn’t matter to these mouthfoamers.

President Obama has said he’ll stand up for what Planned Parenthood does to help women. The rest of us should do the same. There should be a price paid for jackasses who believe in punishing women for being women.